Giving In
by LiLPixi
Summary: Duo is having some problems with alcohol and cutting not a very good summery but i suck at 'em so read and find out whats goin on yaoi 12 rated R for cutting, alcohol, language and umm near death
1. Chapter 1

hey everyone well first things first this will end up being a 1+2 story in other   
  
words boyboy stuff so dont like it bite me^_^   
  
this is my first gw story so please be kind. when your done please review   
  
and if you flame me it will only be used to keep me and my muse warm.   
  
Ooo and before i for get the song that goes with this story is by adema and  
  
its called Giving In. and i dontown gw so dont sue me cuz all youll get is some pocket lent...   
  
Now on with the story!!  
  
~ will you walk me to the edge again  
  
shaking, lonely, and i am drinking again  
  
woke up tonight and no ones here with me  
  
Im giving into you~  
  
The bottles the knives are really all the friends i have that really know me not  
  
these fake laughs and smiles i put up. With the bottle i can numb away everything.   
  
The blood flowing down my arms calms me soo much. So many times i said i  
  
would give it up so many time i give it up but i keep giving in. Quatre saw a bottle that   
  
i so stupiedly left out and questined me about it.  
  
(flashback  
  
"Duo do you drink?" Quatre asked concern showing in his sea blue eyes he didnt like  
  
alcohol very much and really didnt want one of his friends to drink it.  
  
"A little yeah why do u ask?" Duo answered with a half smile and a small shrug.  
  
"Because I really dont want you to drink it and let alone in my house so please if you must  
  
drink please dont do it here, Ok?"   
  
"Yeah Q-man", Dou said with a smile, "ill make sure not to do it here"   
  
~like im really gonna stop just cuz he dont like it~   
  
(end flashback)  
  
Ohh well no point in thinking about that now i need to be happy tomorrows my birthday  
  
maybe ill get to have some fun. Duo thought to himself all while drowning another tall glass  
  
of vodka and puckers, picking himself off the ground of his secret hiding place and  
  
walking back to the mansion.  
  
  
  
Duo awakes already happy because its his bithday he goes downstairs and into the kitchen were he find a note.\par  
  
Duo,  
  
Went out with Trowa to the curcis. Heero and Wu Fei are working on their gundams soo everyone will be pretty late coming in  
  
theres pancakes in the microwave for you. Dont wait up for us.   
  
  
  
see ya later,  
  
Quatre   
  
Duo was taken aback by the fact that no one remembered his b-day. Ohh well he thought as he went upstairs to find his knife and  
  
bottle of vodka   
  
~Ok sorry its short but if enough people review (like 8) ill make the next one longer i promise sooo go on review ^_^ 


	2. Chapter 2

Hey everyone!! Thanks to everyone who review ^_^ its always nice to know people like my story. umm the warnings are the same and I dont own gw (sad isnt it).  
  
OO yeah this story is dedicated to Kurai Kaiba for being the first person to review my story Thanks soo much ((((hugs)))) ^_^ well now on to the story  
  
Take me under,   
  
I'm giving into you,  
  
I'm dying tonight,  
  
I'm giving into you,   
  
Watch me crumble,  
  
I'm giving into you,  
  
I'm crying tonight,  
  
I can't help the pain I feel, I know I should just get on with life. So what they forgot my birthday its ok, Duo sighed. He'd been saying this all day and each time he said it, the hurt he felt grew and the need to cut grew with it. The guys had come back around 1 in the morning. Duo was lucky he had just cleaned up or it would have been a hell of a lot to explain bottles and blood were everywhere.  
  
  
  
The next morning Duo had gotten up as usual and did everything like he always did. He went down stairs took a deep breath and walk into the kitchen, mask falling firmly into place as he gave everyone a huge smile. After talking, eating, and acting like a fool, everyone (well Quatre anyway) gave him their plans. Heero and Trowa were staying in so Duo decided that he was   
  
definitely not staying in the house, Wu Fei was going yet again to work on his gundam, and Quatre was going into town and said Duo was more than welcome to come along with him. Duo decided to go with Quatre.  
  
(A few hours later)  
  
"Duo do you wanna rent a movie?" Quatre asked while keeping his eyes on the road.  
  
"Nope I can't not tonight." Duo answered hoping the blond pilot would not dig for more info, Because tonight Duo had decided to do Some thing big. He was going to tell Heero how much he loved him. Duo figured that sooner or later something good would happen and he hoped this would be it, he needs some light in his darkness. He was starting to give in to his addictions too much each time he cut it was deeper than before and each time he drank it was more and more.  
  
  
  
Duo thought he was safe when Quatre didn't answer but he was wrong. "Why you got some thing planed?" Quatre asked curiosity flashing in his eyes. Duo chose his next words carefully not wanting to lie to his friend, this was the one thing he hated about Quatre he was sometimes to nosy. "Umm yeah I got plans I have to talk to someone."Quatres eyes shown brightly, "Who is it Heero?!" Duo just looked, "I knew it I've always known you had a thing for him."  
  
Duos looked shocked how did he know am I that obvious?   
  
Quatre just smiled back as if he knew what Duo was thinking, and answered. "No, you're not I can just tell with these kinds of things. Duo nodded slow not sure what to say he always thought he hides it so well. Quatre just continued to smile as he drove them back to the house.   
  
~Okay I think this one is actually shorter lol and i kno i said i wanted at lest eight people to review but I had to get this in there im not sure when ill be able to update next cuz big paper due and well..yeah...~  
  
~Pixi~ 


	3. chapter 3

hey everyone sorry this took soo long ~ducks as people throw food~ hehe well i made this chap a bit longer soo read and enjoy ^_^  
  
o yeah i dont own gw and all that crap so ya kno dont sue cuz u will just get pocket lent haha.. oo yeah umm i still need a beta reader soo please e-mail me or leave something in a review thanks  
  
~Will you,   
  
Will you love me tomorrow   
  
So will you,   
  
Will you stay with me today~   
  
P.O.D ~Will You~  
  
Herro sat quietly typing away at his laptop as Duo walked in.  
  
~Well it's now or never here goes nothing~ Duo thought as he stepped behind Herro and took a deep breath.  
  
"Hey Herro can umm I talk to ya for a minute?" Duo asked   
  
  
  
"Hn…" was Herros only reply, so Duo took it as a yes.  
  
Well ummm that is I ummm I.   
  
"Duo get on with it. Herro grunted out.  
  
"Fine", came Duos reply as he took a deep breath, Herro I umm love you.  
  
Minutes passed by and Herro said nothing. Finally he turned around and stood up.  
  
Duo looked at him with hope in his eyes and tears already falling thing he had been rejected getting scared he stared to ramble  
  
YouknowHerroifyoudontlikeboysorwhateveritsummcoolyaknow…  
  
Heeros hand went up and Duo flinched, but instead of the hit he had be waiting for his tears were being wiped away.  
  
"Herro I", but before Duo could get the words out Herro silenced him with his lips. The kiss was soft at first and as time progressed it grew more intense, Duo thought he was in heaven.  
  
  
  
They finally broke away both panting for air.  
  
"Duo", Herro breathed, "I love you too."  
  
Duos lit up as he pounced on herro kissing him full force. Herro regained his balances and started to move toward the bed. The back of Duos knees hit the bed and he fell backward with Herro on top. Duo started to nibble on Herros ear. Then moved to his neck. Both taking turns to explore each other.  
  
  
  
(On people this will not turn into Lemon so u over there yes you put down the lub ^_^)   
  
They stayed like that for hours until they were both to tired to move and fell asleep in each others arms.  
  
Herro was the first to wake up he looked down at Duo and memories of last night came back to him he never felt so happy. Duo shifted and put his arm over his head and that when Herro noticed the scares. He knew right away what they were from cutting, he himself had gotten over cutting a few years back and it was hell to try to stop.  
  
~Dear lord I need to help him now this has to stop, now that I have him I don't want to let go~ Heero silently made a promise to Duo to help him get through this no matter what.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
well now that ya done readin review it ya kno ya want to, oh and any flames will be used to keep me warm at night 


	4. Chapter 4

_I don't own gundam wing never have never will so don't sue me unless all you want is pocket lent._

The next morning I took my after we had finished eating I took my time approaching the subject of Duos cutting. I sat him down in our room and just went with the flow of things.

"Duo," I began, "I don't want to beat around the bush so I'm going to just say it I know what you have been doing I…I know that you have been cutting."

The look that came across his face was one of sheer shock. His eyes looked like they were going to pop out of his skull.

"How did you"… He began but then stopped and looked like he was fight with in himself I guessing for letting himself slip and let me find out.

He looked up at me his eyes now blank a strange smile on his lips, and then just like that he began to cry. I took him into my arm and tried to sooth him.

"I… I'm… really… Sorry Heero." He breathed out between sobs. "I… I just didn't know what to do I just… Just felt so lost and I felt like I wasn't really alive anymore. I… I just really needed to know that I was."

"Shhh," I said to him, "I understand I really do, and that's why I want to help you work through this. I know it can be very addicting and it's hard to just stop and say you'll never do it again all at once so I'm not going to ask you to do that.

Duo looked up at Heero happy to know he had someone who truly loved him and who he truly loved. Yet at the moment he felt a bit too vulnerable and just had to get away he did not like when people saw him like this.

"Heero." Duo started meekly

"Yea Duo what is it." Heero replied.

"I really want to thank you for being there for me," Duo said while wiping his eyes, "but right now I just want to be alone I'm just not used to anyone seeing me like this and even with me crying and all I still wan to keep some pried." Duo finished with a small smile on his lips.

I nodded understanding how he felt, I bent my head a little kissed him and then told him before I left the room that I wanted his razors. He handed then over reluctantly like he was losing one of his best friends. I gave him another kiss then left him to his thoughts

Before I closed the door I said, " I love you and always will.

He gave me another small smile. "I love you too and you know that means your stuck with me right?"

"Yeah I know what have I gotten myself into." He laughed at that, I laughed a little to and then I shut the door hopeful that I could help him get over this and at the same time become even closer then we were before.

_Hey everyone I'm really sorry I haven't updated for awhile but I have been very sick and have been in and out of the doctors ;; . Also I can't seem to find my muse for this story I think he walked out on me damn muse so this my be the last chapter but if you would really like to finish this I will try my best to pull something together that sounds good soo just leave a review saying what you want me to do_


	5. Chapter 5

Hey everyone i know its been awhile since i updated this story but i just couldnt find a way to go on. Soo my bete reader Hells-angel8 took over to help me out, soo this ones from her and the next one will problay be from me. Now on with the story

After a little while I returned to Duo's room to see if he was feeling better and wanted me to be with him. I knocked gently on the door and waited for him to answer.

"Go away," I heard him say from inside the room.

"Duo. It's me, Heero. Can I come in?" I asked still outside his door. A moment later I heard some rustling inside the room and then saw the door open. Duo smiled at me. A smile that was genuine and true and just for me.

"Come on in Heero." He then reached out a hand and pulled me into the room and then shut the door. He then turned into my arms and wrapped both of his around my waist and put his head on my shoulder. The warmth of his body wrapped around mine made me feel complete and I was so happy that he was mine. He began to nuzzle my neck with his nose then kissed me there as well. I couldn't help but smile.

"Are you feeling better now?" I asked quietly making sure not to shatter the moment. I felt him nod his head against my neck.

"Yeah I'm feeling a little better now. Thanks for asking." He kept his head where it was and I kept my arms around him for a few more minutes before deciding I needed to get to the bottom of this problem of cutting he was going through. Slowly I took my arms away and then pushed him back a little so I could see his face.

"Duo? You know that I'm always going to be here for you no matter what right? That you can tell me anything at all? I want you to tell me how this started. Why you began to cut yourself? I won't judge you believe me. I used to cut myself too, until I realized that the pain I felt didn't solve my problems. It only created new problems for me to face later. So tell me, please?" I pleaded him so I could understand his reasons for doing it.

Duo took a deep breath of air and began to tell me. "It started after one of our missions. I don't remember exactly which one but I know it was after one of them. I felt so empty and lifeless that I didn't even know who I was anymore. I felt that I couldn't feel anything and so I took one of my razors and sliced my arm.

"The sudden pain of the cut let me know I could still feel something. I could feel the pain I had caused myself. After I realized that I could still feel I stopped cutting and bandaged up my arm so no one would notice. I started to cut myself every time I thought I couldn't feel anymore and the pain would bring me back to reality. As painfully as the cuts were, they made me feel somewhat alive. Even if for only a few minutes, I still needed those few minutes to find myself once again." Duo ended his story the looked at me to see what I thought of him now.

I smiled softly at him to reassure him that I didn't think any less of him. He hesitantly smiled back at me as well and then hugged me to him. I returned the hug and then decided to tell him about my own experience to make him feel better.

"Duo. I know exactly what you have gone through. I felt the same way when I was cutting myself as well. I felt that nothing could affect me any more so I looked forward to the pain I caused myself to make me feel like I was real and not some kind of weapon for this war that we're in. But then I met you.

"You, who are so full of life and could smile and joke in the worst of situations. You became the reason why I could quit cutting. You made me feel alive Duo. I want to be the reason that you feel alive too, so you can stop cutting and inducing more pain and feel alive with me."

I looked down at Duo then and saw the tears in his eyes. But I knew these were tears of hope and joy and not of sadness and pain.

"You really mean that Heero?" He asked, his voice cracking as tears cascaded down his cheeks.

"Yes Duo. I meant every single word." I whispered back at him and he just let the tears run freely and latched his arms tighter around me. All I had to do was hold him until he was spent and we sank to the floor together. He fell asleep in my arms. Completely wiped out from his emotions that he showed me and all I could do was hug him to me and stay with him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Ok sooo sorry but my computer is funny and isn't giving me the right stuff so here is the real chapter..**

_**Take me under, (I'm killing all the pain)**_

_**I'm dying tonight, (I'm sick of all this pain)**_

_**Watch me crumble, (I'm killing all the pain)**_

_**I'm crying tonight, I'm giving into you**_

_ Giving In By: Abema_

_Two Years Later  
_  
Duo awoke very slowly, tired and hurting; opening his eyes alone was a great effort. Looking around the room he took in the sight of his new apartment. Clothes were everywhere, tons of vodka bottles were strewn about the floor and his lone razor blade sat nearby with blood drying on it.  
  
"Why am I still alive? Why did I have to wake back up?" Duo said, sadness growing in his eyes.  
  
_ 'Nothing had turned out like it was supposed to. Even with all of Heero's help support and love, I just couldn't stop cutting. No matter how hard I tried, how much I wanted to, I just couldn't. After a year of putting up with me, I guess Heero had, had enough and one day just left without even saying good bye.'  
  
_ Duo started to cry just thinking about it. "How could he just leave me like that? Couldn't he see that I was trying to stop?" Duo said to the empty room, as tears were now flowing freely down his already tear streaked faced. "Yet, I suppose in the end, I am always meant to be alone."  
  
The more Duo thought about it, the more the need to cut was growing. It had been a year since Heero left and Duo decided it was time to put an end to everything, to stop this pain inside.  
  
Reaching over the side of the bed, he grabbed the knife and stared at it.  
  
_ 'Soon no more pain ever.'_ He thought to himself as he slide the knife over his wrist. The pain he got was a rush, it had never felt like this before, so he slide the knife over his wrist again and again till he had about ten cuts on his arm, all deeper than the last.  
  
With his eyes glazed, Duo stared at the blood as it flowed down his arm and fell into a crimson puddle on the floor. Duo's eyes begin to droop closed and things were starting to quiver and move as if the room was alive and spinning.  
  
A thought arose in Duo's head about what was to come, but only one thought really stuck out. _'It's all over no more pain, no more me, no more anything.'_ And with that last thought, Duo drifted away into the blessed darkness.  
  
  
  
Floating is what Duo felt as he drifted through the darkness in what felt like an eternity of bliss. But, before he could truly enjoy himself, he opened his eyes to a blinding white light. Closing his eyes again, then reopening them Duo tried to adjust to the bright light that was shining at him and figure out where he was.  
  
When his eyes finally adjusted, he found himself in a large white hospital room, with no windows and machines everywhere.  
  
"Damn." Duo breathed to himself, hating to be awake again plus on top of that, he felt like shit.  
  
_'What the fuck? I'm supposed to be back in my dark place floating, but nooo I'm back here in the real world feeling like shit and now they're probably gonna put me in a damn crazy house! Fuck who ever found me I swear I'm gonna rip there fucking heads_ off!!!'  
  
Then the reality sunk in, that he was still alive and his pain was still gonna be there and Duo begin to cry.  
  
'Why me? Why?'  
  
Duo's pity on himself was cut short as the door to his room opened.  
  
Wiping his eyes and looking up he was ready to fuss at the doctor. The person who stepped into the room wasn't the doctor.  
  
Duo's eyes widen as he saw who the person was. "You." Was all he could say.  
  
"Hello Duo."  
  


Ok I know I haven't updated in a while and then I leave you with a cliffhanger bad Pixi but I will update soon I promise and it will be longer. Well the last thing I have to say is if you read it review it please, I love to hear what everyone thinks


	7. Chapter 7

"Hello Duo."

"Heero." Tears began to stream down Duo's face again. "Heero, why are you hear after all this time? After you left me?"

Heero came closer, looking at Duo. He hated to see Duo cry and he felt even worse because he was the one who caused those tears, but what could he say? How could he begin to explain? Then it hit him, he knew exactly what to say.

"Duo," Heero began walking closer to the hospital bed and when he was close enough to wipe away Duo's tears, he spoke. "I love you Duo and I was so selfish to leave you when you need me the most. I woke up everyday, so scared that I would lose you because first you weren't eating and then you started to cut a lot once again."

Heero paused, tears now welling up in his eyes, threatening to spill over. He looked Duo in the eye and saw a swirl of emotion, but he was saddened to see so much hatred in them.

"I was a coward and couldn't stand watching you waste away, so I left, hoping that I might be able to get on with life."

"So you felt I was holding you back?" Duo questioned. "You only felt love for me when I was happy and in bed with you? You couldn't take the good with the bad?"

"No it's not that!"

"If it's not that, then what is it Heero?" Duo said voice hardening. "Why is it you really left me, other than the fact that you're a coward, why did you desert me when I need you the most? When were you the one that was keeping me from cutting an inch too deep? Why Heero?! If you cannot answer that, then why are you here?

Duo was partially screaming by this point and all Heero could do was stare.

"Maybe I was wrong to come back." Heero said, feeling down and guilty. Duo was right. Why was he here when he had left Duo all alone?

Heero began to turn around, but stopped at Duo's words.

"That's right Heero, run away again. Get the fuck out of here, be a coward." Duo said, voice hard eyes dry, yet he continued to wipe his tear streaked face.

Heero turned around to face Duo, again tears now flowed freely down his face. "Duo I'm not gonna run away this time." Heero said not only to Duo, but to himself as well. "Duo I love you and yes it is true I cannot explain myself to you. I'm not even sure what was running through my mind at the time, but I do know this. I love you and I don't want to see you get hurt again."

Even after all this was said, Duo still stared at Heero, eyes hard. "Look Heero, I don't believe you for one second. You come in here, say all this shit and think that I'll be like 'oh Heero, I love you too,' well buddy-"

Duo's sentence was cut short as Heero leaned in and kissed him. The kiss didn't last long because about as soon as there mouths touched, Duo broke away with a scowl on his face.

"Look," Duo started, "If you want me back, you cannot do that every time I tell you how I feel. Yes it's true I am not to sure about you, but I still do love you no matter how much I don't want to."

Heero began to say something, but Duo cut him off.

"I'm not done. If you really want to make it up to me, come see me after I leave here. Got it? Do not come back to my hospital room after this moment, alright!" Duo ended his sentence with more of a command, rather than a question.

"OK." Was all Heero said, as he turned and walked out the door.

After Heero left, Duo relaxed into his pile of pillows, with all this conflict going on, the urge cut was so strong. He needed to find some kind of some release. Duo tried to get up to look around the room to find something sharp, but found he was to exhausted to move. So he just lied there, looking up at the plain white ceiling until he fell into a dreamless sleep.

The next day, Duo was sitting up in bed watching a rerun of the Simpsons when Quatre and Trowa walked through the door.

"Duo!!!" Quatre exclaimed, as the little blonde ran over to him and gave him a big hug.

"You had me so worried, when you didn't show up to our lunch date. I went to check on you and when I found you-" tears began to flow out of Quatre's big blue eyes as he trailed off.

Duo couldn't help but cry now. "Q. I'm sorry but I just couldn't stand being me anymore. I feel so alone."

"Well you don't have to. I'm always here for you to talk to and if you ever do anything like this again, I will hurt you myself, ok?"

Duo just looked down at the light green shirt Quatre was wearing. He wasn't sure if he wasn't going to try again and he really didn't want to lie to him.

Quatre just let it go for now and just talked about everyday things that were going on, as Duo looked like he was paying attention and Trowa just sat in a chair and listened to the conversation.

After a month of being in the hospital, Duo was finally able to go home. Something he was both dreading and grateful for.

After dressing in loose t-shirt, red hoody and loose black shorts, he was ready to go home.

Quatre was waiting for him outside his room for him to get done. They walked out to the car and drove home in silence.

* * *

**okay yay for me i updated back to back and its a longer chapter does a dance but really tell me what you guys think and again im sorry bout the last chapter with it uploading wrong and all.**


	8. Chapter 8

After getting out of the car and walking up to the house that Duo would soon be sharing with Quatre and Trowa, he took out his key and unlocked the front door. Sliding his bag off his shoulder and onto the floor, he searched around for a light switch of some kind, to Duo's relief he found it right by the door.

Switching it on, light flowed through the whole room; finally letting Duo see what this first part of the house looked like.

It was nice sized living room with, as Duo looked farther into the house, a kitchen through the door way on the right and a bathroom through the door on the left.

Wanting to see more of the house, Duo walked up the stairs where a lone door stood and then another set of stairs.

Duo was just about to turn the knob, when a voice from behind it him stopped him.

"That's going to be my room."

Turning around, Duo looked to find the one person he did not want to see. Heero.

"What the hell are you doing here? What do you mean this is gonna be your room?" Duo said in a harsh tone, looking Heero straight into his blue eyes.

"Well," Heero began, trying to think of how to tell Duo what Q thought should be done, "Quatre thought it would be best to face the thing you're running from and just deal."

"Well Yuy, I have some news for you. I'm not the one who started to run first ya know!" Almost yelling now, Duo's thoughts began to turn frantic.

_What the hell why would Q send him here now. What the hell could he be thinking? I can't just forgive him and get over my problems with him, even if I love him more than anything._

"I know Duo and I'm sorry that I left, but I thought it was for the best. You weren't getting any better while I was there. So I left, thinking maybe you would be better off without me there." Heero told him sadly, looking at Duo for any reaction out of Duo.

"Well that didn't help me, did it? You abandoned me and let me become even worse than I already was. You didn't care that I loved you and wanted you to help me. All you did was think of yourself and decided to leave me." Duo choked out.

He was so close to crying, but clamped down firmly on his emotions as they threatened to overwhelm him. _I will not cry in front of him. I won't. I can't let him see me cry. I want to just be wrapped within his arms again, but I can't show him any weakness. I won't cry! I will Not Cry!_

"Duo, I know I have been selfish, but that's why I'm here now. I know I can't take back what I did, but I want to try to be close to you again. I love you, Duo. I have always loved you. I couldn't bear to see you suffering, but I want to help you now. Quatre told me to stay here with you and them. We'll all be living here together, whether you like it or not. I am staying here with you. I won't leave you this time. I promise." Heero said, his eyes pleading to make Duo see that he meant every single word.

"You promised me last time that you would help me and you still left. Your promises are hollow Heero." Duo said softly, his control crumbling. His eyes starting to burn as the tears filled his eyes. He clamped his eyes tightly shut to stop them from slipping down his cheeks.

_I thought I wouldn't cry but I guess I was just kidding myself. _Tears flowed freely down his face, but he refused to look at Heero.

Heero moved towards him the ache, that built in his chest from seeing Duo this torn, hurt him to the core. He approached Duo and wrapped his arms around Duo, hugging him lightly so he could get away if he wanted to.

A few seconds past by and hesitantly Duo wrapped his arms around Heero and buried his face in his chest, letting the fabric soak up his tears.

Heero just held him knowing that when Duo came back to his right mind, he might pull away from Heero again. Heero decided he would enjoy this moment while it lasted.

And just as Heero thought, it was only a few moments before Duo pulled away, turned and walked up the stairs, tears still lightly flowing down his face.

Once up stairs and in his room, Duo shut and locked the door again breaking down.

_I want him so bad,_ Duo thought as his body racked with tremors and he slid down the door. _What do I do? I want to be in his arms again so bad, but I don't want to get hurt again._

The same familiar want to cut, came creeping up on Duo like so many times before, but he wanted this time to be different. He fought it. He was tired of everyone being so worried and if it meant giving up cutting for a while, he would try his best.

_This will show everyone that I'm better and show Heero that I don't need him, no matter how much I want him. _Duo's thoughts began totrail off at the last thought.

Planting his hand firmly on the floor he got up and headed to the bed. Striping off his clothes, down to his boxers, he then rolled back the covers and got into the bed, ready for much needed sleep.

###########################################################################################

After a long day of moving things into the house, Quatre and Trowa were taking off their clothes and getting ready for bed.

"Quatre do you think it was a good idea to invite Heero to stay here? Don't you think that it should have been Duo's choice to want to see him again?" Trowa asked, not to sure of his blonde lover's choices.

"Well," Quatre started, "I think it was a good idea, simply because they would have had to face each other sooner or later and it's better to do it now since we're here and can stop anything bad that might happen." Quatre finished looking at Trowa.

"Well if you say so." Trowa said, still not too sure.

_Sometimes Quatre needs to just back off, but maybe this will work, _Trowa thought as he was folding the covers for the bed back. _Like he said, we will be there to break up anything that might go bad, so maybe, just maybe it will work._

"It will work," Quatre cut in, "I know it will."

"You know I really wish you wouldn't read my thoughts." Trowa said, looking at Quatre on the other side of the bed.

"Well if you would just tell me everything, I wouldn't feel the need to find out what your really thinking." Quatre said matter-o-factly.

Trowa just looked at him, not sure what to say, so he just climbed into bed with Quatre. Turning off the light, they snuggled closer together, with Trowa's thoughts still circling around Duo and Heero.

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Umm hey every one sorry for the umm no updating...ness lol. Ive been away on vaction and this story is getting really hard to keep writing so it will be coming to a close as soon as possible (sorry). OO and before i forget umm half this story was done by my good friend and bete hells-angel8 ((HUGS))!! Ok enough of my rambling please review and tell mewhat ya think of this story i didnt get many reviews for the last few chapters so i dont kno what ya'll think soo please review.


	9. Chapter 9

The next few days passed with Duo trying avoid Heero and Heero trying to get Duo to talk to him about anything.

By the third week, Quatre had, had enough, neither one was getting anywhere and he was just tired of having Duo hide behind him and Trowa.

Walking into the living room where Duo was watching TV and Heero was reading a book secretly looking at Duo every few seconds.

Walking up to the TV, Quatre turned it off, this bringing cries of protest from Duo.

"Q, what are you doing? The movie was just getting to the good part. Duo whined and was about to open his mouth to protest more, but he was cut off.

"I have an announcement," Quatre said calmly. Heero stopped reading his book and look up at him. "Trowa and I are moving back to our old house tonight."

This brought on more protests from Duo. "You can't just leave me here with him! I won't stay! I refuse!" Duo yelled, feeling a little betrayed that his best friend was going to leave him high and dry with that damn bastard, A.k.A Heero Yuy.

"Look, I think it's for the best," Quatre began. "You and Heero have something you'll need to work out eventually and with me and Trowa being here, its not getting done. Now, we will stop by at least everyday to make sure you guys haven't killed each other or anything, so we'll still be here, just not living here." Quatre finished looking everyone in the eye.

Duo just sat there and pouted, he knew that once Quatre got something into his head he didn't let up.

Tugging on his black hoody, Duo stared moodily at Quatre._ Damn it! Now I'm stuck with him! Fuck! This is not going how I planned it to go!_

Yet on the other side of the room, Heero felt the opposite.

_Maybe this will help. He has been hiding behind them a lot. Yet he seems so reluctant to even look at me. Maybe I did blow my chance. _Heero thought as he stared into his lap, the fabric on his sweat pants becoming suddenly very interesting.

That night after Quatre and Trowa moved out, Duo went straight to his room not wanting to even look at Heero.

_What am I gonna do with Quatre gone? I don't have anyone to keep me distracted from him!_ A sudden knock on the door snapped Duo out of his thoughts.

Looking at the door with a longing, then quickly changing it to a stern look, knowing who was behind the otherside of the door. "What do you want?" Duo called to the door in a very icy tone.

"Look Duo, I just want to talk." Heero pleaded to Duo, "Please?"

Sighing, Duo got up from his bed and walked across the large room to the door. Opening it all the way, he looked Heero dead in the face. "Talk," he commanded, "and make it fast."

"Ok, I promise it will be quick." Heero agreed.

"Don't promise me anything, just say what you have to say." Duo said tiredly, he was already getting tired of this.

"Well, I just wanted to say: that Duo, I really do love you and I really want you to at least talk to me. I know that I wronged you and made you not trust me anymore, but can I to at least try to get some of that trust back?" Heero pleaded with Duo. "Please?"

Duo looked at Heero, his eyes narrowed a bit. "I will give you a chance." Duo paused and looked Heero in the eyes, which had a relieved look in them. "But, you only get one chance to try to earn my trust back. If you fuck up in anyway, I will never talk to you again. No matter what you say, got it?"

"I understand." Heero said right after finished his sentence.

"Good, now could you leave my room? I'll see you downstairs for dinner," Duo said simply.

Heero just nodded and walked to the door, grabbing the knob and closed the door behind him.

_Finally_, Heero sighed, _he'll talk to me again maybe I can earn his trust back and I'll finally be able to have my Duo back. _Heero's thoughts trailed off as he went to the stairs, deciding he was going to make Duo favorite food for dinner, instead of ordering out for pizza.

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Okay hey hoped ya liked it and i'm gonna ask for at least five reviews before i update again soo review please and then i'll add the next chapter


	10. Chapter 10

Around six o'clock, Duo came wondering down the stairs to the smell of Teriyaki chicken and rice and then something else he could not quite place, filled the house.

Walking into the kitchen, the sight before him was the funniest thing he had ever seen. Heero was standing with his back to him, but Duo could see there was flour in his hair and a hot pink apron on, no doubt it was Quatre's.

Not being able to hold in his laughter anymore, Duo burst into fits of giggles, catching Heero's attention he turned around to see Duo with one hand clinging to wall and the other holding his side.

"You find something funny?" Heero said in a light tone.

At this, Duo fought down his laughter and looked at Heero, only to begin laughing again because Heero had flour on the very tip of his nose and the apron had the figure of a woman in a bikini on it. "Yes." Duo choked out as he tried to get his laughter under control again.

Heero looked down at himself. "It's the apron isn't it?" He asked in all seriousness.

Finally finding his voice, Duo laughed out, "It's the whole scene, you with a pink apron, no make that with the hot pink apron with the body of a woman on it, and you have flour everywhere else on you. It's just too much." Duo said arms wrapped around himself, holding his sides.

Confused Heero got serious and said, "I have flour on me?"

Finally calming down Duo answered, "Yes, you do. Here, let me get it for you."

Walking over to Heero, Duo gently brushed the flour out of Heero's hair then took his thumb and got the little smudge off of Heero's cheek and nose, but being this close to him was driving Duo crazy.

_Why am I feeling like this? He left me, I shouldn't be getting all googoly over him just cause we're this close. I should still be hating him, never mind the fact that he is making my favorite dish. _Duo thought as he stared at Heero his hand that had some how made its way back over to his cheek.

Heero just stared at him not sure what was going on in Duo's mind.

_What's going on? I mean this is great and I wish I could be this close to him all the time, but why is it he's looking at me with longing then with hatred. There must be a war going on behind those beautiful eyes of his._

Before Heero knew what was going on and before Duo knew what he was doing he leaned in and kissed him.

First the kissed started out slow but then became more fierce and full of need. Before they knew it they were drowning in each other, neither wanting to let the other go.

Pushing Heero back into the counter Duo searched for the hem of Heero's shirt, finding it, Duo's hands began to roam all over Heero's chest, making Heero give out a small moan as Duo pinched one of Heero's nipples.

Parting for air, Duo looked into Heero's clear blue eyes.

_What am I doing?! _Duo thought as he continued to look into Heero's eyes. _Fuck it, I don't care right now. I just want him so bad I can't bring myself to let go_.

Heero saw Duo's hesitation and decide to make the next move and started another kiss that Duo went along with.

Walking backwards and pulling Heero out of the kitchen they made it over to the couch, lips still searching the others and made it onto a couch in the living room.

The back of Duo's knees hit the couch and he fell back onto it with Heero right on top of him, never missing a beat.

Before they knew it, all of Heero's clothes were on the floor and Duo only had his boxers on.

So to make things even Duo took his boxers off and they 'played' a while, but were interrupted by the smell of burning rice.

"Shit!" Heero cursed hoping up to get the rice while Duo just sat on the couch.

_Maybe I shouldn't be doing this. Its too early and even though a good fuck is a good fuck. I can't do it with him._

Deciding that the smart thing to do was just to eat with Heero and not let it go any farther. Grabbing his clothes and putting them back on, then picking up Heero's clothes, he walked towards the kitchen.

"Here Heero." Duo said, handing Heero his clothes when the Japanese boy turned around.

Heero took the clothes right away, even though he was a little upset that Duo changed his mind. Yet, he was still hopeful that things were moving in the right direction.

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Dinner passed by smoothly, neither talked about what almost happened earlier. They just ate in silence for the most part, but talked in between bites every now and then.

After they finished eating, Heero began to collect the dirty dishes and Duo got up to help.

"Look Heero, about what happened before we ate," Duo started, "I guess well... look don't take this the wrong way, but just because I did that, does not mean you got anywhere on my scale ok."

Sighing Heero stopped putting a dish in the dishwasher and turned to look at Duo. "Duo I understand, because I know what I did was wrong and I..."

Before Heero could finish his sentence Duo kissed him again.

_What the hell?! _Heero thought to himself. _It's not that I'm not enjoying this, but talk about mixed fucking feelings._

Along with Heero's mind, Duo's was also racing.

_Why do I keep doing this? I mean come on, its like having the hormones of a 14 year old boy again. I swear I take one look at him and I can't help it I can't seem to fight it anymore. I want him so bad no matter how many times I tell myself it's wrong. _With each thought that passed through Duo's mind, the kiss deepened until they finally withdrew for air.

"Duo?" Was the only word Heero said as they parted. He was so confused, he wasn't sure what to do.

Duo looked down at the floor his breath coming in pants. "Heero I'm sorry, but I just can't help myself. I don't know what to do." Duo looked so lost Heero wanted to take him in his arms but he wasn't sure how Duo would react.

"I mean, I know I'm supposed to hate you and I want to because you left me all alone when I needed you, but when I look at you I can't hate you. It feels like I'm trying to fall in love all over again." By now Duo was near tears.

Heero couldn't take it anymore he didn't care how Duo reacted. He reached out and pulled Duo into his arms.

"If I would have known you would end up like this, I would have never left you in the first place." Heero whispered more to himself then to Duo.

_How could I have just left like that? I should have stayed. Its all my fault he's this broken. _Heero thought wearily to himself.

Deciding on a plan of action, Heero picked up Duo still slightly sobbing in his arms and took him up to his room.

Opening up the door and shifting Duo so that he could roll back the covers, he laid Duo down.

As soon as Heero started to let go, Duo held on and wouldn't let go.

"Heero stay with me tonight?" Duo asked in a soft voice.

Feeling no need to answer Heero just slid right into bed next to Duo. Pulling him close so that they were fitted together just like puzzle pieces.

Closing his eyes, Heero began to hum a soft lullaby to Duo as he drifted off to sleep.

_I hope we can stay like this forever,_ were Heero's last thoughts as he felt his body get heavy and drifted off to sweet dreams.

While Duo was thinking just how nice it was to be sleeping next to Heero again.

_I never noticed just how much I missed this. I don't ever want this to go away, I love him so much more than I want to. _Duo thought as his eyelids became heavy. _I've finally realized that I really don't want to lose him again._ Duo's thoughts eased away as he drifted into a dreamless peaceful sleep.

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**Ok well theres chapter 10 hope yall liked it And i may be making this the last chapter but if you want me to keep going just say soo.....or maybe i'll do a sequel. I dont know.. just tell me what ya think and then i'll take it from there**


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